Hey guys!

So I'm back with an update of how I'm doing being all new and improved and stuff.

It's going really well which is quite shocking. I'm so used to trying and failing because I'm super lazy and hated myself which resulted in me getting more fat and depressed. But now things are changing and I'm loving every minute of it. I'm getting closer and closer to becoming a better person.

I'm starting to get better at make up which is pretty awesome! I'm finally becoming more confident with doing other people's make up as well not just my own. It also helps that I have a ridiculously supportive boyfriend and sister who are absolutely amazing and are always there to boost my confidence.

I'm also noticing things about myself that I haven't really noticed before. One particular thing is that I distance myself from people too easily and it really annoys me! Sometimes I get the feeling that I wouldn't be missed if I was in a room full of people that I know love me. I hate that feeling! But I'm trying to make it go away. I'm the most socially awkward person in the world and it's infuriating! But I'm slowly coming out of it: :)

We were at the pub last weekend to celebrate my boyfriend's birthday and pushed myself out of my bubble and it was awesome!!! I felt amazing going to bed after thinking "you did it you finally did it!" and yes I'm quoting Planet Of The Apes but it's such a fitting quote :)

Although I did see a tonne of girls that I used to go to school with and couldn't bring myself to say hi because I'm 3 stone heavier and not that confident seeing girls who knew me in my skinnier days.

That's the one problem I find with being in a long term committed relationship, you get comfortable and once you're comfortable you stop trying and that's what I've done. I've gained 3 stone (42 pounds) in weight in the past 3 years. It's time to lose it!

I'll update you guys soon with how things are going!

Life Changing Inspirations

So I was at an arts night type thing, I know my English is impeccable, at which my sister performed. As per usual Laura was absolutely amazing and words can't describe how proud I am of her. Afterwards a lady that also performed on the night asked if I was a writer as well to which I replied 'I used to but not anymore' and my sister reminded me of a story I wrote which she absolutely loved. So, I've decided that I'm going to start writing again. Yaaaay!
Another life changing inspiration that happened this weekend was that my boyfriend and myself were sitting out in my back garden and we were talking about our future because we had attended our friends wedding last week and talking about our friends that are currently engaged. We spoke for ages about where we'd like to live, what we'd spend our money on in the beginning, where we'd move to when we started wanting kids and so on. It was such a wonderful conversation that has made me realise that if I want those things, I'm going to have to work my ass off! But that's ok because at the end of the day it's his face I want to wake up to everyday and fall asleep looking at at night. So it's time to be a grown up and start saving, working ten times harder in college.

Lets do this guys!

Teenagers? What About Parents?

What if the problem isn't teenagers attitudes but rather the attitude of our parents?

I was brought up to believe that if someone apologises to you, you accept it and move on because there is no point holding a grudge and making yourself feel bitter. I had a teeny bitch fit today when watching Desperate Housewives and my mam and boyfriend were talking and it continued on for a while and I decided that I'd turn it off because I'd have to re-watch it and didn't want to be a bitch. HOWEVER, my ma took it as me being an arse and when I apologised she said, and I quote, 'whatever'.... WHATEVER!!!! If I said that I would have gotten a serious bollicking!!!

So my question is to you, the great world of internet, is it teenagers that have the attitude or is it actually our parents?

Why Is It So Hard To Change?

I remember my New Years REsolution for 2011 which was to make myself happy. I know it's a lot easier said than done but after two extremely difficult months I did it. Now I find myself with the same New Years resolution and I'm finding it a lot harder to accomplish. I try to lose weight, seeing as that's the root of my problem, but I can't push myself to do anything. I look at myself in the mirror and absolutely despise what I see looking back at me. For years I've been dealing with my weight and now it's come to a serious point where either I lose it and feel absolutely amazing or I stay the way I am and gain pound after pound until I can't get out of my bed. I know I should lose it and feel amazing but what if I can't? What if it's too hard and I end up miserable like I am now? Will I put my hands up in the air and say at least I tried? Or do I wallow in silence and lose everything I've worked so hard to achieve?
I'm 21 years of age and I can't even motivate myself to be happy. I have amazing friends and family and not to mention an unbelievable boyfriend. I have to do this for them. I don't want to feel like this anymore. It's bringing me back to my dark days and I can't go back there. God knows I can't and won't allow it.
I know you guys probably think I'm crazy but seeing this all laid out. I have no other choice. I think I'd rather say I tried than not try at all and absolutely without a doubt lose everything like I did before. It's time for a serious change no matter how hard it's going to be I have to and will do this.

Thanks for reading guys and I will give you an update soon!

Rant Alert!!! Are Manners Dying Out?

Hello readers!

Ok so  I was in the car on Friday and mammy went in to get petrol. As I was in the car waiting for her to pay, I saw a man drilling signs for turf on the turf bins, the wire for of the drill was caught at an angle which would trip up anyone and everyone. An old lady was walking up to go the doors to the shop and this man didn't pull down the cable until she was after climbing over it!!!

Are manners dying out these days? Has a world of arseholes come upon us?

Another thing happened to me during the week that scared me just a little bit. I was in Subway by myself after class getting lunch and this lad asked me to put credit in his phone which I did. I didn't get a thank you or anything. then he sits at the table beside mine and asks me if I knew how to save a phone number into his phone while he was on the phone, which I didn't but proceeded to give him a pen and page o write it down. Again I received no thank you. I the went to the bus stop to get the bus home and this man turns up again asking me when the next bus to Dublin was which I replied was quarter to 3. He then asked me what time it was and I said 20 past 2. AGAIN I RECIEVED NO THANK YOU!!!! He continued on to ask me whether I knew when the next ferry to England was and I replied "no sorry". He then walked off in a huff because I didn't know. ARE YOU SERIOUS!!!!???? He then received a phone call from some poor fucker who this man screamed at saying he was going to kill him. I was terrified he was going to attack me if the bus was late. Honestly, it may seem a bit dramatic but if you saw how he was you would understand. Luckily the bus was packed and we got our own bus to where I live :) Maybe someone was looking out for me :)

Are the words 'thank you' dying out? Will there be a world where there is no thank you? Will it be like the Dothraki in Game of Thrones where we just take what we want and never show any appreciation for the effort of others?

It's a scary thought.

2014: New Year, New You

The phrase "New Year New You" seems to irritate many people. When I was looking through my Instagram newsfeed, smellyfacecleary (if you want to follow me), I saw a lot of people uploading a derpy Robert Downey Jr with the about statement  wriiten around it in the general Meme form.
However, this year there will be a new me in many ways. My wonderful sister called me earlier this week to discuss my current weight and we decided on a plan that will hopefully work.
For Christmas, my sister bought me a ten slot Inglot Palette and 5 eyeshadows to put in it leaving me to fill the rest of it myself. We decided that for every stone I lose, which is 5 in total (fate, I think yes), I get an eyeshadow for my palette. When I reach 11.12 st, I will be getting my Koi tattooed on my ribs, something I've wanted for so long, and for goal something else make up related.
I'm really excited about this weight loss journey because it seems different to all my other attempts! I will be giving you guys regular updates if you so wish and maybe I'll inspire you guys to lose some extra poundage as well! :)

Thanks for reading and stay tuned for more!!

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